Today, I logged into my Facebook page only to see my first post about Coronavirus from last year, so I thought that I would take some time to tell you about some of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had over the past year. There were good times, and there were bad times, but so far here I am on the other side… managing I guess you would say.
So three great things happened to me last year and I will talk a bit about each of them. The first, I chose to rekindle an old romance in late May. Now, almost 10 months later, I’m still not sure if this was a good idea or not. Haha just kidding. My boyfriend and I met 10 years ago at work, him the son of the delivery driver and the new clerk on the block, and me, a manager just working and minding my own business and then I saw it. His butt crack as he was sitting on the floor facing the shelves. It was love at first sight. For those of you never having worked in retail, facing is the art of bringing all the stock to the front of the shelf so that everything looks presentable. We then proceeded to be friendly for a few months and then, I don’t exactly how or when we started dating. There is a lot of history here, good and bad, not too sure if I do want to share that on here because some of it still haunts me today. I guess I shouldn’t say haunts, but I literally remember 98% of things that happen to me and how I felt, happy or sad, hurt or ecstatic. Needless to say, I have given him his last and final chance to prove to me that he is a changed man. Most of the time, people do not change. I never thought it was possible until I myself went through a massive change in 2016-2017 when I dealt with a situation that had me suffering from PTSD and hurled my depression and anxiety into overdrive, but luckily I got help. Who knows what would have happened if I did not. I’m not sure I would have survived. This too is a story for another time. Unless, you reading this already know the story. It’s good to write or talk about things from time to time because it makes you feel better so if you have something to say to someone, say it. You never know when it could be too late. I know you are probably sensing a lot of sadness in this post so far, but it was not my intention when talking about my boyfriend. I just basically wanted to say that people can change and grow up but ultimately you have to work at a relationship, you can’t just expect it to just work. There has to be compromise and effort and yes arguments, because without arguments everything is bottled up inside until one day without explanation (or a very stupid one) everything comes to an end. This isn’t how I want to live my life. Thankfully, throughout all the bullshit we have been through, we have managed to find some sort of balance during this weird, draining, exhausting year. We have had many laughs, drinks and adventures and hopefully much more of this will come in the future. It’s nice to be in the moment with someone and to connect with them and do fun things, especially throughout the last year. It only took a pandemic for us to make our fucked up relationship work, go figure. I think it’s because at the beginning we were mostly just video chatting and just reconnected again which was a nice experience. I can’t wait to see what else we will get up to. We already started an Instagram about food which is a fun time. We don’t post all the time on it but we have fun doing it. Aka it was his idea to create the page and since I’m so into photography I take the photos and arrange them and he holds his phone on top of the plate to get good lighting. It’s really quite comical. Feel free to follow along on Instagram @thehungrygirlandherboyfriend . We are funny people when we are together, so if you need entertainment, there ya go! Follow our page!
The second and probably the greatest thing to come out of 2020 for me was the birth of my niece. Finally we have another baby in the family. The last time a baby was born in our family was I believe 2005 when my cousin’s second child was born. Oh and she lives in Italy so we never really saw her that much. Although we haven’t seen her that much due to the pandemic, babies are a breath of fresh air during hard times like this pandemic. I’m not even sure how women who a) gave birth in 2020 or b) already had children in 2020 are still alive and kicking today. It must be Hella tough so kudos to all you mamas out there kicking ass and being perfect moms. I don’t care what you say ladies, you’re doing a fucking amazing job at being a mom so do not contradict me. Plus you can’t since this is a blog so ha. It is nice to get photos and updates on her from time to time. Puts a little extra light in my day. I can’t wait to properly play with her and watch her grow ❤ .
The last great thing that happened in 2020 is that I joined a book club. Apparently this is an old lady thing according to like everyone, but really it’s a great thing for people who love reading! I’ve always loved reading thanks to my mom and joining this book club has kept me going throughout the last year. It’s forced me to read things I wouldn’t have normally and I’ve enjoyed them. If you have any book recommendations, drop them in the comments I would love to explore and be introduced to as many books as possible. I’m just your average bibliophile. I have been contemplating getting an e-reader, but I’m not really sure how I feel about them yet. I did however just finish reading a book on my phone through Net Galley ( a website where you can request free copies of e-books or audiobooks) and it wasn’t too bad. I just get a headache if I stare at screens too long but this seemed to be okay so we will see! I do understand that this year hasn’t been great for a lot of people and I am not trying to make my life seem all happy and perfect, but you have to try and focus on the positive sometimes when the negative is very overwhelming and I hope that everyone that suffered last year finds peace and that this year will bring them better things.
While all of this happiness has been happening, obviously the stress and exhaustion of the pandemic has been weighing over everyone’s heads. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss going out and doing things. I miss watching live bands at Irish Pubs. I miss being able to be outside after 8pm (I live in Quebec and we have an 8pm curfew). I miss hugging people. I hate how disrespectful people have become. I hate that people take us essential workers for granted. I feel bad for frontline workers, teachers, parents… seniors…kids… People are burning out, kids aren’t having proper childhoods.. the world is on hold. People are getting vaccinated now which is good so hopefully things will be back to normal soonish. Everyone thought that starting January 1st 2021 would be a new year but we still have had the same problems. I find some days are great and okay and others are just really fucking bad. Sometimes I just need to be alone, other I need affection. It’s rough because we are all in the same storm just not in the same boat. So many people have lost their jobs. It’s just awful. I hope the world gets back to normal soon. I miss people.
As Expressed By Emily 